Oh hello! Kara here, and my sincere apologies for the delay in blog posting. It's been a little while, so I thought I would do a little catch-up blog post and update about what I have been up to in my little community recently - Albury Wodonga (NSW / VIC Border) - for those not knowing where that is!
Full-time work
In addition to my end-of-life doula work in the community, I work full-time as a palliative care nurse in the Albury area and have done for close to ten years now. So, what does a palliative care nurse's role entail?
In the simplest terms, we provide care for those experiencing serious, life-limiting illnesses. Palliative care and hospice care (last days of life care) are actually different but sometimes easily confused with each other. An easy description of both:
- Palliative care = symptom management and medical care from the onset of the person's diagnosis - so essentially on day one of diagnosis!
- Hospice/end-of-life care = care more targeted to ensuring comfort, pain relief, support, and care at the end (last days - weeks of life) of a person's diagnosis.
Palliative care nurses provide pain and symptom management, emotional support, patient and family education, end-of-life planning, plus assessment and support to those who are experiencing a life-limiting illness/diagnosis, and also to their families. Palliative care is normally hospital-funded through the local and state governments - and can be public, private, or a combination of both.
I find what I do incredibly rewarding and could not imagine myself in any other type of nursing.
End-of-life doula work / dying to help
I reached a milestone in my 10 months of owning my little end-of-life doula business/passion project recently - the ability to look after ten people and their families in the community. Now, that may only equate to approximately one person per month, but in my opinion for an end-of-life doula the ability to look after one person (let alone ten) is incredibly rewarding and a blessed experience. I’ll explain….
I work full-time, as well as working in my private space as an end-of-life doula. Full-time shift work means at this present moment, I only have the capacity for one person in my doula space per month. But that person is never the only person. That person has a whole tribe of beautiful family, friends, loved ones, community groups, faith groups, and all sorts of other people that may require support and care – and they all deserve that, and nothing but the best of it. When an end-of-life doula looks after a client in the community, they also not only look after that one person – but all who are closest to them. It would be incredibly cruel of me to take on any more than one person a month – to then have them call me at 2am requiring help for me to then sadly turn around and tell them that I am too busy to help?. It is simply something that I could not do to someone.
I’ll be frank and honest for a moment –I think death doulas all want nothing more than for others to be able to work in the community. We all die, and undertaking a training program in death makes us a better community, as we know how to support each other, are more educated, know how to recognize and support others better by understanding the dying process, and help to contribute to a society where we are more aware of our mortality.
Death is sad yes, I absolutely completely understand that. But it is also a part of life that we will all go through eventually (some far earlier and sooner than others). So it just makes sense to be more prepared and have our wishes written down - Just in case. Tomorrow is not guaranteed - for all of us.
But, for those that are wanting to work as an end-of-life doula to be able to have a steady stream of income – this is not one that I would recommend. We take up the mantle as end-of-life doulas because we want to serve and help. There is a reason that you see most other end-of-life doulas having a primary source of income, or those that are retirees – our work is sporadic. To end? Not all of those 10 people and their families I spoke about above were paid work, either. If someone calls for help, support, questions, and needs a shoulder to cry on - an end-of-life doula should support them to the best of their ability - after all - we do what we do to help people.
Public speaking
A few weeks ago I popped my public speaking cherry! I was asked by the amazing committee that is Business Women Albury / Wodonga to come to their pitch finalist night for entrants, and to talk about my work. I was not a finalist (which is so incredibly fine, all of the 6 finalists are so deserving), but was asked to speak for 3 minutes at the start of the evening about what I do, my work, and what an end-of-life doula is.
Now, for those who know me well – three minutes is not a lot of time for me to speak! - but it was an amazing experience to be able to talk about what I do in a public capacity, network, and meet amazing women in business in the Albury Wodonga region. So to BWAW – thank you for the opportunity for allowing me to speak at the night – I am incredibly appreciative and love what I do. You were also very brave in having the first person of the evening talk - about death!. Albury / Wodonga truly is a wonderful place to live and be supported in business. Thank you is not enough.
Monthly coffee catchup
I have commenced holding a monthly catch-up in the park, with coffee and cake. This is incredibly informal, all are welcome to attend - and can simply sit and listen.
The reason for these catchups is to ensure people have a safe, supported space to ask end-of-life-related questions, talk about their experiences, as well as meet new people. This is not in any way a group where there will be diagnosing, simply an informal catch-up. You are welcome to see more on my social media and Instagram page - @dyingtohelp_endoflifedoula for more information. would love to see people there - always happy to meet new people!. I'll bring cake x
The funeral fix
I also have another little thing up my sleeve… I was awarded a scholarship! About a month ago now I put my hand up and threw my name in the ring for a scholarship for a funeral celebrancy course.
For those who know me know that in my end-of-life doula work, I am passionate about people having freedom of choice in death and what they want - and to ensure that their wishes are advocated for. This should (in my opinion) be the same in a funeral!. If people have lived a colorful, fun-filled life with laughter, love, color, and confetti – then we should as a society embrace that and give them the freedom of choice to be able to do all that we can to have their final send-off according to their wishes.
Now for me personally? Throw me a party! I would love a pre-wake – where I am present and celebrating my life with those that I love and care about. There are so many things said at funerals… only for the person that is having all those lovely things said about them to not be present, and to not have the ability to hear those beautiful words. I am passionate about giving people a choice. The wonderful people over at the funeral fix must have seen that I was passionate too (and can talk underwater with a mouth full of marbles!) – as I was awarded a scholarship to do my celebrant training through them.
so.. watch this space! behind the scenes, I've been busy as well as starting a few new little projects. and as always - thank you to everyone for your support and encouragement - I am incredibly appreciative of this little community.
With love, your little neighborhood death doula, coffee catch-up gal pal... and soon-to-be funeral celebrant!
Kara x
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