Building Bridges - Not Barriers: A Night with the Australian Funeral Directors Association
- Kara Chanter
- Jul 27
- 4 min read
Last week, I had the absolute honour of speaking at the 2025 Zone Meeting of the Australian Funeral Directors Association (AFDA) at La Maison in Albury (Wassim, if you are reading this—you beautiful human—thank you again for warm welcome and hospiality - La Maison is beautiful and I suggest everyone go there for a meal - Wassim also supports so many charity initatives here and gives back so much).
Standing in front of a room full of funeral directors might seem daunting to some, but I felt welcomed, heard, and most importantly, respected - and I hope that I was able to convey that in return. I was there as an end-of-life doula—someone whose work often walks alongside, but outside, the more formal structures of funeral care, and I was invited to speak for a full 45 minutes (and yes, for those that know me well - I used every one of them).
Clearing Up the Misconceptions
Let us talk about the elephant in the room: there is still a bit of stigma floating around. The idea that end of life doulas are trying to replace funeral directors. That we are anti-funeral industry. That we are rebels - ready to rally against the "establishment."
Nope. Not here. Not me. Not my style.
There are many things I cannot and will not do. I do not and can not embalm. I do not coordinate logistics. I do not complete legal paperwork, organise transfers, or manage the behind-the-scenes things that funeral professionals handle with grace, care for your loved one - and dignity.
But - here is what I can do:
Sit beside the dying.
Support families emotionally and practically before death occurs, after death - and in the months to years that follow.
Hold vigil and try to create calm in the chaos.
Use tools like the cooling blanket to help someone stay at home after death, if that is what the family wants.
Be a familiar face in the room before the funeral director arrives.
And—importantly—I talk to families about what they want.
Because here is the truth: many families do want a funeral director. They want someone to guide them through the logistics, the paperwork, the ceremony, the what-comes-next. They need structure, steadiness, and someone who knows what they are doing—so that they can do the most important thing of all: grieve. Be present. Be family. Be a loved one—not the planner.
Yes, we live in a time where there are more options than ever before—direct cremations, eco-burials, family-led farewells. But ultimately, as an end-of-life doula, it is my responsibility to advocate, educate, and support—not steer.
When we give families the information and space to choose what is right for them—whether that is a home-based vigil or calling a funeral director—it is their decision. And my role? Is to support that. Not override it. Not question it. Just back them with support, love, care, and professionalism.
So, What Did I Say?
In my 45-minute presentation (yes, I kept to time—barely), I:
Busted some myths about doulas and what we actually do.
Highlighted how we can work together and support families seamlessly.
Emphasised that people need wraparound care.
Encouraged more collaboration, less confusion, and a whole lot more communication.
Because at the end of the day, we are all here for the same reason: to help the dying die well, and to help the living survive the ache of it - and be supported, long after the funeral, the coffee goes cold, the frozen meals all get eaten - and when people need us most.
A Note on the Doula Landscape
One of the things I touched on during the night—and something I think is important to acknowledge publicly—is that the end-of-life doula space in Australia is currently unregulated.
That means there is no formal registration body, no universal scope of practice, and no minimum qualification required to call yourself a doula. And as a result, doulas across the country are offering a broad range of services—some incredible, some still finding their feet, and some who may need a bit more support.
I do not mean this in any negative way at all. I adore my fellow end of life doulas. However - let us call it for what it is. and.... that is the honest truth.
When I first started in this work, I believed passion and lived experience were enough. Over time, though, I have changed my mind. This work is complex. It involves grief, family dynamics, trauma, medical systems, and death care processes—and it requires skill, boundaries, and a high standard of ethical practice.
This is something I admire about the Australian Funeral Directors Association. While AFDA membership is voluntary, it is also meaningful and incredibly important. Members hold themselves to high standards. There is accountability, education, professional development, and peer support. There are clear expectations—and the families they serve can trust that they are being looked after by someone who knows what they are doing.
That is something I hope the doula space continues to move towards—not regulation for regulation’s sake (or over regulation), but transparency, integrity, and a clear commitment to best practice.
Because when we hold ourselves to higher standards, everyone benefits. The dying. The grieving. The professionals we work alongside....and the industry as a whole.
Final Thoughts
To the AFDA, and every single funeral director, past presidents, suppliers, etc who showed up to listen, chat, question and connect—I see you, and I appreciate you.
It meant the world to be invited into your space to speak not at you, but with you. The respect was mutual, and I hope we can keep the conversation going.
Here is to building bridges, not barriers.
With love and deep respect,
Kara x
End-of-Life Doula | Palliative Nurse | Celebrant | Grief Guide | end of life nerd
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